Project Columbo

We Suck

2007-01-19T01:40:00.000-05:00

Huge, Sweeping Changes

2005-08-24T21:53:00.000-04:00

I have a big update about the project. But first let me tell you about my radio.

I have a 1995 Geo Prizm and it just hit 150,000 miles this week. I'm so proud. Anyway the antenna finally broke all the way. It has been slowly breaking for quite a few years. I had purchased a replacement antenna about two years ago but after I got it home I managed to fix the original one. So I "stored" the antenna somewhere in the garage.

Today I had just had enough of the clanging antenna and its crappy reception. So after work I drove to NAPA. It turns out that the antenna is the one part of the car that they don't deal in. They could have ordered me one, but I was in the mood for instant satisfaction. The helpful guy there suggested I check out Advanced Auto Parts because they usually have stuff like that.

I grabbed my trusty GPS, hit Find, then All POI, then By Name and tapped out A-D-V, selected Advanced Auto Parts and chose the nearest one. It took me down to a less-than-desirable part of town, but sure enough there was the store. I found an antenna similar to mine and went to buy it. I asked the guy if he thought it would work. He, like me, thought..... maybe. I asked him if he had a screwdriver I could borrow to check it out in the parking lot. He said they normally can't do that because it's in a bad part of town and they always get their tools stolen. But my dorky thick-rimmed glasses give me an honest look so he said he'd get me one.

I took off the antenna cover and found that the wire goes waaaaayyy down there. No way could I replace it in the parking lot. I returned the screwdriver (hey the guy was right about me) and headed for home.

At home it was starting to get dark. I went into the garage and amazingly found the first replacement antenna I bought two years ago. So I get to take this other antenna back to Scaryville. I grabbed the antenna and a variety of light sources (a hunting spotlight and a camping lantern) and started the tedious task of dismantling my dash. I spent about 2 hours taking stupid little screws out and breaking plastic and trying to see. Finally I gave up and came inside because I am just too tired to finish something so annoying tonight.

So that's the update on my radio. Right now I don't have one and my dash is all over my car.

Oh yeah, about Project Columbo. I updated the template on this website. I told you it was big news.

Press Play on Tape

2005-06-20T21:01:00.000-04:00

We're meeting tomorrow to plan out the rest of the project. And you thought we had quit. You are so stupid.

What Are We Doing?

2005-01-31T10:57:00.000-05:00

Nothing. We're doing exactly nothing. Take a look at your fingernails right now.

See how they are just sitting there on the ends of your fingers in an opaque fashion? They don't seem to be doing anything, but they are doing something. Your fingernails are slowly growing, so slowly that you can't see it. But try not cutting them for a month and you'll see that they are indeed growing. They'll even do that after you die. Fingernails are slow but tenacious.

Project Columbo is like a fingernail, except for the tenacious part.

To all who have expressed concern that we have thrown in the towel, do not worry. All towels are accounted for. We are just taking a little break. With the holidays and the snow and the flu and all the sleeping, it's just been pretty busy. Project Columbo will be finished, I swear it! I cannot just sit here with footage of Nick and Mark swimming in goose sewage and never release it. And lest we forget, Carl swam in the icy waters of Deliverance. Too much has been sacrificed to abandon this project.

But not enough has been sacrificed to avoid taking a break, apparently.

POSTPHONED

2004-12-12T08:16:00.000-05:00

John called me last night, leaving multiple messages on my battery-depleted cell phone while Melissa and I were out drinking with one of the COP EXTRAS (DAN). Basically, John has not fully recovered from influenza or SARS. I point out that the spell checker wants to replace SARS with SEARS. NICE.

I believe he may have been able to make it but his voice sounded like an elderly smoker and while the character of Columbo is essentially an elderly smoker, it would be hard to understand John through the gravel pit that is currently his throat. The illness would also have sapped John of the requisite energy to deal with one of our toughest shoots to date. It is especially difficult because we're on the screen simultaneously during this shoot, and we (last-minute) planned for an extra to man and pan the camera for some of the shots. For the rescheduled shoot, we'll obtain bonus, dedicated camera and mic men. This could be the JOB OF JACOB the scorned.

Office Scenes Coming Up

2004-12-09T20:57:00.000-05:00

This Sunday we're shooting the scenes in the office. I really have to get cracking on my lines. I came down with the flu yesterday and am just now getting up and about. So that's gonna cut into my time to memorize lines.

I'm trying to make up my mind... I have my winter beard, but would Columbo have a beard? I'm not trying to do a direct impersonation of Columbo, but I do want to capture his "trustable messy goofball genius" persona.

The Never Ending Shoot

2004-12-05T22:51:00.000-05:00

Today was insanely busy for everyone. Carl and I met for breakfast around 7:00am. We got to Nick's house at about 8:15am, poor Nick had only been in bed for a few hours. We walked into his house and his dogs were so excited that they peed on his floor. I cleaned it up -- just another part of the glamour of making a movie.

It occurred to me as I woke up at 5:50am that the scene we were shooting takes place at night, yet the windows will be letting in the full sunlight. The genius of Mike Muething and the resourcefulness of Nick Franceschina provided us with darkness. They used some straps, carpet scraps, an old poster, felt (why did Nick have felt?) and duct tape. It was great.

What did not occur to me (but later became painfully obvious) was that I had forgotten the dress. When we shot the body dumping scene, we used a dress of Danielle’s that she was to wear for this scene. I had taken it to the cleaners afterwards, but forgot that I still had it in my closet.

My beautiful wife who is the greatest person in the world volunteered to bring it to us (keep in mind this is around 8:30am on a weekend). So we continued setting up.

Melissa the amazing hero of the day showed up with the dress. Then, disaster struck again. As we took the dress out of the cleaner’s bag, we were greeted with stains from the lake. They hadn’t gotten it clean.

Well, Danielle put it on and it wasn’t so bad. You couldn’t really tell so we continued with the shoot. Danielle – I owe you a dress.

Poor Danielle had a busy schedule that day too. She is currently in a live theatre production of Annie Jr. and had to leave around noon. We filmed as much as we could, but couldn't finish up in time. We did, however, get the kissing scene.

We all decided to meet back up at 6:30pm. Nick let us leave all of our gear in his house and we resumed our separate lives for a time. Personally I hung out at Starubuck's and did a little writing. I really should have spent that time napping.

Carl and I met for some more caffeine at a different Starbuck’s around 5:00pm. We’re working on a few ideas for “post-Columbo” projects so we discussed that for a while.

For some reason, the evening shoot was much easier than the morning one. We finished up shooting just after 8:00pm, cleaned everything, watched the dailies (which looked great!) and headed home to bed.

Which is where I am. This has been a long exhausting day. Our next project will have 2 locations, tops. In fact, I have tentatively titled it “Six People in a Room”.

Many thanks to Nick for letting us ruin his Sunday (and holding that stupid boom mic), to Mike for getting stuff done when it needs to be done, to Danielle for being a real actress, to Mark Cole for not killing us as we yelled while he was trying to sleep. And to Nick's Mom for getting the dogs out of our way all day long. And to Carl for being a director and an actor in almost every scene. And to me, because, well, someone has to hold the camera.

Remember, 90% of accomplishment is showing up.

Aaaaand We're Back

2004-12-03T08:59:00.000-05:00

Shooting resumes this Sunday at 8am. We pussy-footed around and now we can't use the cabin until mid-January. It's been decorated for Christmas. According to local author Mike Muething:

Camp Muething is a festive holiday wonderland featuring 3 running trains
a functioning set of cable cars and an awe inspiring 12 foot winter solstice
tree. While this environment truly inspires joy I do not think it is
conducive to a Columbo episode. Camp Muething will return to it's cabiny
self the second week of January. Until then please join my family and I in
having a wonderful Rama-hana-kwanz-mas.

So instead we are going to shoot the "post-restaurant pre-murder" scene. This involves our leading lady -- Danielle Muething as Lily Lasanka. Danielle is the only for-real actor on the project. She's going to look out of place.

I've started reading some books on how you are really supposed to make a film. We aren't far off the mark. It turns out this was a pretty good choice for a first film project, except for two things:

It's pretty long
It's copyrighted so we probably can't just throw it on the web

If you want to do this for a living, I highly recommend the book From Reel to Deal.

Esperamos

2004-11-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was at Carl's house hitting his floor with a hammer. Think Donkey Kong. He's long had a problem with an unlevel floor in the dining area and now that he's putting in wood laminate he has to fix it. So he came up with a pretty smart plan to level it out which includes a saw, a 1/2" drill, buckets of goo and me hitting his floor with a hammer.

I tell you that to tell you this: today's shoot has been postponed. We originally wanted to start early, like 10am or so. But Carl's house has been a construction zone and we haven't had much time to work on Columbo. So he and I were going to meet early today and finish planning the shoot, then meet the Muethings at noon. But his floor was taking a few extra hours to finish this morning which would move us up to 2pm, and that was going to put us too late in the day for the Muethings.

Damn. Oh well. I did get the storyboards done, so that is something. The next available time for the cabin is not for about 3 weeks, so we are going to pick some other scenes to shoot in the meantime. We could possibly do the restaurant scene, or some scenes between Columbo and Joanne. Oh wait, who was going to play Joanne?

Motivation

2004-11-11T13:01:00.000-05:00

Not much has happened since the driving scenes were done. In fact, you could say that nothing has happened. You should say that, actually, if you care anything about the truth.

Carl started a remodeling project at home so that has held us up a bit. I know. How dare he let his life intrude on the single most important film production ever. I've been cooling my jets a little, working on some music too. I ping-pong between film and music. Except I get paid for neither. Jack Black has an enviable life.

It's hard to stay motivated on this project. Doing this is a load of fun, but it's also a load of work. The thing is, when you've finished a shoot, you're on a productivity high. Because you can look at the tape and say "this is finished, I can point to this block of work and call it done". But then you have to go back and plan the next shoot (which takes forever it seems) and it's hard to want to do that. You really just want to shoot film.

But we're not gonna quit, nowhere close.

Oh yeah, this coming Sunday we're shooting the cabin scenes.

Scenic Driving with the Muethings.

2004-10-25T23:14:00.000-04:00

Sunday morning, freshly hungover from a weekend visit from my brother in-law, I contacted John fully prepared to try to postpone the shoot until another day. Instead, after a tense standoff of the unsaid, I sacked up and decided to hurry up and meet John and the Muethings at the house of Muething. Mike is playing the part of JIM FARRIS and Danielle was serving as a trusty PA today. Her debut as LaSanka will just have to wait.

The frantic search for the leather gloves I thought were somewhere in the house yielded a null set of results. So, continuing the trend of BUDGET BLOWING MADNESS, I zoomed to Target and quickly found a nice pair of leather gloves that would serve as KEN FRANKLIN'S PRETENTIOUS DRIVING GLOVES.

Arriving at the Muethings, I found John and the Muethings reviewing the Midnight Rowboat dailies on the Muethings huge TV. (Yes I'm really enjoying typing the word Muethings tonight as their name deserves lots of print for all of their help.) Mike then emerged in full JIM FARRIS COSTUME which was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT with sport coat and unkempt WRITERLY-HAIR WIG.

We were shooting the driving scenes where Ken is taking Jim to the cabin. This involved attaching the camera to various parts of KEN FRANKLIN's (MY) car. I was skeptical we could do this at all because I was not going to tolerate any damage to my newly purchased car which replaces a heap that I had for years, and provides me with great satisfaction. The big test was solved immediately, with GENIUS COOK using a huge soft blanket, pillows, and bungee cords to secure the camera to the hood for a later shot.
We then needed to find adequately dead yet scenic roads, and the Muethings idea to use some nearby roads turned out to be perfect!

Highlights of shooting included:

1) I had to hold the camera still on the driver's side door sill as I drove and acted.

2) We had tried several ways to get the above shot, including John walking next to the car (TOUGH WITHOUT THE STEADYCAM LEFT AT JOHN'S HOUSE), and ROLLERBLADES where John would hang onto the car as I drove slowly.

3) Various people on the street where we were shooting gawking and trying to figure out just what the F*** we were doing.

4) To get another angle, we tried driving the Jeep and the C240 in a synchronous parallel heading with the microphone cable stretched between the two vehicles. This foolhardy adventure surely yielded unusable footage.

5) When we shot the angle from the hood, apparently the MIC CABLE BECAME UNPLUGGED, so now we either have to reshoot it or do careful voiceovers which I think would be the best course of action.

ANOTHER GREAT THING IS THAT HAVE A NICE CABIN NOW FOR FUTURE SHOTS, THANKS TO MIKE!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had enough of writing this.

One more time, showing my appreciation of their amazing contributions to this point and the future: Muethings.

More on Storyboards

2004-10-24T10:05:00.000-04:00

Today we are going to shoot the bulk of the driving scenes. Last night as I was storyboarding I found a way to do it that is way better than what we had been doing.

For the past 2 shoots, we were just drawing the storyboards ourselves. Think stick figures and squares. It works, but clearly illustrates (pun intended!) the justification of having a storyboard artist. So last night I fired up Final Cut on my trusty Mac and just took screen shots from the original movie. WOW are these easier to follow.

OK, that's it. I'm just killing time before the shoot.

Carl Lives

2004-10-18T13:02:00.000-04:00

Contrary to popular prognostication, Carl lived through the midnight boat-flipping scene.

As late as Saturday morning we still weren't sure where we were going to shoot. I was getting pretty worried. My Dad had borrowed a rowboat for us in Glasgow. Since I grew up there, I know a lot of spots where we could have put it in the Lake. But we really needed power for lights...

I was thinking of a campground that is near the water. I know they have electric hookups at some of the campsites. I called them, and oddly enough they were booked solid -- with a 36-degree low that night! There was some sort of Halloween thing going on that weekend.

My parents suggested that the marina where they used to rent a slip has power. So with a bit of a late start (8:30pm local time, after eating some of Mom's hot homemade soup mmmmmmm) we took off towards the marina. On the way I called my buddy Brock who was going to be there, but he had hurt his foot and couldn't make it. And I was going to try to wrangle my brother into coming over to help out, but he was in the middle of plumbing his new addition.

We got to the marina and found a perfect spot with an outlet. We set everything up and filmed as much as we could right on the shore. We did the closeups, the oar in the water, stuff like that. The hardest part was rigging up the oars. The boat didn't have any "oar holder thingies". In fact it didn't come with oars -- my Dad actually bought some before we showed up (man is he a nice guy, thanks Dad!). Carl figured out a little rig using bungee cords.

After shooting the "easy scenes" we went back to the Jeep to warm up for a while before the in-water scenes.

We sat in the Jeep and watched a guy in a golf-cart ride over to where our stuff was. He was poking around so we started running down there. Carl almost gave the guy a heart-attack when he said "Hi!". The guy, who obviously worked there, asked what we were doing. I have to admit, it looked odd. There was a rowboat tied to the dock, about 20 towels and blankets lying around, wires, and something resembling a body wearing a dress in the boat. We explained that we were making a film.

He asked us if we were renting a slip. I said, no, but my parents used to. "What's their names?", he asked. This is where I started to think we were about to get kicked out. "Bill and Linda Cook.", I said. "Doesn't sound familiar. There used to be a Pop Cook...", he said. Which is (I often forget) how everyone else in the world knows my Dad. So he asked how Pop was doing and then he took off.

After that, Carl did his amazing scene and flipped the boat perfectly on the first take. He gallantly jumped in to retrieve the boat, then ran up to the Jeep to avoid death. I was rounding up the equipment and lost the boat like an idiot. Fortunately it drifted over to the bank and we were able to fetch it without diving into the icy abyss.

Six hours later we returned to my parent's house, exhausted. Mom made us some good breakfast and we left for home Sunday morning. We are still recovering (I slept 11 hours last night) but the footage is good!

The lessons from this shoot are:

My parents are really really nice

Having even one other person around to help out can save a lot of time

Lighting things properly at night is almost impossible

All the equipment you really need is bungee cords and rubber bands

If you need a dead body, a jumpsuit stuffed with dog toys and wearing a dress is kind of realistic. And creepy. And weird.

IT IS VERY COLD IN GLASGOW

2004-10-14T18:30:00.000-04:00

The fact that I have no problem getting into the water in the middle of the night on a small rowboat in a place I have never been when it's 30F outside is indicative of my commitment to this project.

Mom and Dad Save the Day

2004-10-13T08:40:00.000-04:00

We've had this coming Saturday scheduled as the midnight rowboat shoot for a while now. That has been on faith because we hadn't actually found a rowboat. You would think that you could just rent one overnight, but apparently that is impossible. The terrorists have won.

On Monday we were starting to panic. We really needed a rowboat pronto. One of my friends could possibly get us one in Nashville, but that's quite a drive from here...

I grew up in the fairly small town of Glasgow, Kentucky. I've often said that if we were doing this project there we would have been done long ago. Between my parents and my brother, we know enough people to borrow almost everything you would need.

So Monday I called my Mom and asked her to check around for a boat. Tuesday night my Dad called me back and asked if I'd rather have a 10-foot or a 14-foot boat. Awesome! We're gonna watch the weather forecast and head down either this weekend or next depending on the rain situation.

Thanks Mom and Dad!

Shot 1 - IN THE CAN

2004-10-10T15:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was our first shoot. Considering it was the first time I've ever even seen a movie shoot, it went smoothly. We had planned to shoot from 10am until 2pm. We were done about an hour early and that includes a liberal amount of goofing off during the shoot.

It was a blast! The scene we shot was on the lake and the water was stagnated and DISGUSTING. Huge thank-you's to Nick Franceschina and Mark Cole who agreed to get into the murky malaria soup. I was originally going to be a diver myself, but Mark Cole volunteered the morning of the shoot. That was awesome because we would have had to get someone else to operate the camera otherwise.

Also big thank you's for helping us out Saturday go to (in no particular order):

Matt Sullivan

Toney Simms

Dan Riegler

Carl Danowski, Sr.

Joanne Danowski

Melissa Cook

We learned a few things on Saturday.

Storyboards are unbelievably important. We had storyboards, but next time they'll be more detailed. The ones we had were OK, but when you're out there on location you can't leave anything to question.

Planning, planning, planning. We did tons of this and it paid off well. I'm so happy that there wasn't a major gap that ruined it all. We found out the night before that Winton Woods (where we were filming) had a sewage leak and was not safe. We already had an alternate location scoped out and everyone was notified right after we found out. Yeah, Sharon Woods was kinda smelly, but I don't think any of us are going to get a disease.

It's hard to get good sound. I'm an audio moron. The mic I bought is awesome, but I need to learn how to use it. I have a friend that used to do sound and lighting at Disney, so Mike you had better get ready for me to start bothering you a lot.

Getting a scene done is incredibly rewarding. We seem to have a lot more momentum now and I'm excited about the next shoot instead of nervous. The project seems more "real".

There's still a ton of work to do! We just cast the role of the leading lady, Lasanka (masticatus majorus). I'm going to print copies of the script and burn a few DVDs to hand out to those with speaking parts. And Saturday is the big midnight rowboat scene where Carl has to flip a boat into the lake.

AREA SCOUTED

2004-10-06T22:21:00.000-04:00

After work today, John and I boarded my vehicle for a tour of the waterways of Sharon and Winton woods. Background music for the frenzied trip was supplied by FANTOMAS, via John's nifty I-POD and FM BROADCASTER.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF THE TRIP:

Winton offered better shots and more areas where we could work in relative privacy, and was therefore chosen as the official "FIRST LOCATION" of the Columbo re-shoot.

We determined the maximum we will need for the boat rentals is US$36.

I recruited 5 more people to play the extremely minor parts that are necessary for the shoot (fishing bystanders, cops, and cop divers). This was accomplished via GSM TECHNOLOGY.

We took responsibility for the various items that must be brought to the shoot.

We observed that it's a bad idea to overfill the enclosed trailer of a semi-truck with scrap metal, as it will crack open on the road and result in a sorrowful spectacle.

John spilled a milliliter of Diet Coke in my new car, and tried in vain to absorb it using his jacket which was obviously made of finely chopped plastic bags. As a result, I nearly quit the project, but decided to stay on after he threatened to quit as well. He did end up quitting, then I quit, then we both decided to carry on. So to be clear, the project is still on.

Storyboarding for Saturday

2004-10-05T23:11:00.000-04:00

We did the storyboards for Saturday's shoot, the daytime rowboat scenes. Our friends are really coming together for us... we have been graciously loaned some snorkels and masks and a lot of people have volunteered to be there as extras and policeman. Friends are great!

Tomorrow we are heading to Winton Woods (where we'll be shooting) to scope out the location and get a feel for it. We're going to show up a few hours early on Saturday because that's the Right Thing to Do.

Steady.... Ste-ea-dy...

2004-10-04T22:25:00.001-04:00

I built a steadicam! It was really easy. This guy tells you everything and has very clear directions.

Also I picked up 4 cheap police badges at a Halloween store. They asked me about them and I said I was making a film. The owner asked if I was from L.A. Haha, no. He then said that a few people had been in there from L.A. and were shooting a movie in Newport. They had bought an Elvis wig. I wonder if it's Edward Furlong, as they are shooting Jimmy & Judy here...

That's my Kubrick stare, by the way.

Storyboards and Rowboats

2004-10-04T11:25:00.000-04:00

After we finished the script, we storyboarded the entire midnight rowboat scene. That's the scene we are attempting on October 16th. The whole scene is about a minute and a half. We'll need about a dozen different shots that we can edit together.

We also decided to get aggressive and try to do the daytime rowboat scene this coming weekend. There is a park in Cincinnati where you can rent rowboats. We'll need 4 boats. There is the capsized rowboat, a boat with fishermen in it, a boat the police are on and (of course) something to hold the cameraman.

Notice I said "police" just now. Yeah. We need cop uniforms. We found a rental house in the area and they are $35 a pop per day. We could probably swallow that (I guess), but there are about 6 locations with policemen and scheduling those on the same day is insane. So we are going to just take the Ed Wood route. We'll find some uniform shirts, buy a few badges and ask the actors to wear blue pants.

Somehow between now and Saturday we have to storyboard the scene, throw together some police uniforms and round up a bunch of extras. Carl has been on the case with the extras. I'm going to hit some thrift stores for shirts and, failing that, there are a few uniform shops in the area I can try.

The real work has begun. :)

Task 0

2004-10-02T17:36:00.000-04:00

The script has been entirely transcribed. 67 pages.

Keep in mind, we haven't actually done anything yet. We may finish shortly before I die.

The Sound of Music

2004-09-29T09:47:00.000-04:00

We had already discussed the music a little. As I've said, we have a friend who is a musical genius who can help us out. I was discussing the music with another friend who is essentially Rob Gordon from High Fidelity and he wasn't so sure that the soundtrack was by Mancini.

I looked at the end credits and it says:

Music Score

Billy Goldenberg

Theme

Henry Mancini

What does that mean exactly? This got me really curious about the music, so last night (after the failed supper) I went through the whole movie and extracted 13 scenes with music. I sent the music to my Rob Gordon friend for some closer inspection.

I love this project, because people have been so helpful and encouraging. Friends are the best!

No-Shows

2004-09-29T09:29:00.000-04:00

In our pursuit for a cabin on the water, a friend-of-a-friend said we could probably use her parent's cabin which is on a large pond. The parents were a little bit nervous about it, as the cabin had been broken into not long ago. I can understand that. Our house was robbed when I was a kid and I still sometimes have a nightmare about it.

So to hopefully make them feel better and to just generally get the hellos out of the way, we decided to meet for supper before the shoot (scheduled for October 16th). Then the parents couldn't make it because they were going to be out of town, but still we pressed on. The daughter was to act as the delegate and check us out.

Last night we were supposed to meet at 6:00pm. About 5 minutes prior, the daughter called and had a flat tire. AAA was going to take about an hour to get there, so we cancelled. Crap.

Now we need to make an alternative plan. We still might go with this cabin, but if all else fails we'll just rent a cabin somewhere for a weekend. Whatever we do needs to happen pretty fast, because that water is going to be cold real soon.

Decisions, Decisions

2004-09-28T13:54:00.000-04:00

There are a few things we've decided:

I'm not going to impersonate Columbo per se. I wll attempt to copy his mannerisms, but nobody wants to hear my crappy impersonation.

We are going to rent the police uniforms. The fun part about this is that there are 3 different scenes where we need them (maybe 4) and we're cheap, so trying to film all the cop scenes in one day will be a trick.

We're gonna hunt for the original score by Mancini. If we can't find it, the amazing Nick Franceschina will make us something similar.

This is not a period piece. We just don't have the funds. We will stick to the script where possible, but a couple of minor changes will have to be made. Also everyone will not be dressing like it's 1972.

For the "yelling in the theatre" scene, we're going to mime the yelling and go back and do voiceovers later. We'll try to shoot the scene in a real theatre lobby without attracting too much attention.

Props to my Peeps

2004-09-19T16:56:00.000-04:00

Today I went to a flea market and a thrift store. The hunt yielded a rotating light for the police boat and Columbo's overcoat. I'm $20 poorer and pretty relieved to have found such a cheap light. I wasn't as worried about the coat, because I'm not going to try to duplicate the exact coat.

Also we have been working on the script. We have about the first 20 minutes finished. It's not bad, we get together and one person types while the other works the DVD player and confirms what has been said. My favorite line so far is this:

LASANKA: MY PLANETS MUST BE IN ALL THE RIGHT HOUSES TODAY
KEN: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THEY'RE WORKING OVERTIME

Carl vaguely remembered something about the planets/houses thing from astrology. Google tells us that it was popular in the 70's. I would have never figured that out by myself.

The first shoot is October 16th. A friend of a friend is letting us use their pond for the boating scene. Now I just have to finish making the boom for the mic (which arrived on Friday) and scrounge up a rowboat somewhere...

First Purchase

2004-09-10T15:20:00.000-04:00

I made the first real purchase for the project today. I got this mic from this place based on some comments on Usenet.

I Believe in Signs

2004-09-07T23:26:00.000-04:00

On Saturday Carl and I watched the movie again, compiling a list of scenes and locations. Nothing too scary (that I'm not already scared about) but there are little things that are going to be insane. Cop uniforms and cars. The scene where the camera sits behind the light on a police boat. A pay phone in a hallway. And the sign pictured above which is only there for a few seconds, but it's during a transition which sets the location.

So I bought some wood at Home Depot this weekend and I guess I have to make a sign.

Also I've been looking at microphones and they are expensive. The lighting you can fake, the cameras are cheap these days, I have plenty of computing power for editing, but you can't really cut corners on audio. People can forgive poor lighting (I've noticed that this Columbo is poorly lit in places) and crappy sets (hey, it's "campy"!) but they get frustrated with bad audio.

I was already thinking about splurging on a Sennheiser, and then I ran across a blurb about Kubrick having good luck with them on A Clockwork Orange, so that seals the deal for me.

I Have Been to the Mountain

2004-08-27T01:12:00.000-04:00

Tonight Carl and I gathered at my house for the official viewing of Murder by the Book. Earlier in the week I had attempted to capture the video and transfer it to DVD. This exercise proved to be too difficult for my freshman editing/authoring skills. I have the video captured, but making a DVD out of that was taking too long.

We wheeled the TV onto the porch, mainly because we wanted to smoke cigars in true Columbo fashion while watching the movie. Halfway through the wheeling exercise we both decided that it was a wholly stupid idea. But in the spirit of this wholly stupid project we decided to proceed with reckless abandon. It was a great atmosphere for watching the movie, and when my wife came home halfway through the movie she got a good laugh out of the sight of a couple of morons watching Columbo on the porch.

The movie was great. We are both excited and frightened by what we saw. It's good that there are no Matrix-level special effects, but right away we know that there is going to be work involved in shooting these scenes:

The midnight rowboat body dumping
The theatre lobby in which a woman is screaming in a crowd
The general store
The restaurant
The cabin

Since we don't own rowboats or a theatre or a general store or a restaurant or a cabin, this is where we'll have to flex our creative muscles. I have a friend of a friend who owns a bar... that might cut it for the restaurant, but we'll have to ask really nicely... We know a place where we can rent a rowboat, but not at midnight. There is a nice theatre in Cincinnati, but it will take quite a salesman to talk them into this. We could rent a cabin for a weekend. The general store.... I have no idea.

So that's where we are. Overwhelmed but giddy.

The next step is to watch the movie a thousand times. Also we need to document a list of the scenes, identify the hardest ones and start pursuing places to shoot them.

Oh, and we've decided that we want to be done by December.

I Have the Tape

2004-08-23T14:17:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you... I'm making a pest of myself... It's because I keep asking these questions, but, I tell you, I can't help myself.
--Columbo

Today Carl and I had lunch (at The Works in Loveland, delicious pizza) and he handed me The Tape. It's an official VHS copy of Murder by the Book. Tonight I will take it home, transfer it to DVD (fair use and all that) and then Carl and I shall begin picking it apart.

It has been decided that Carl will play Ken Franklin because he's a big fan of Jack Cassidy. I guess that leaves me to play Columbo. We will have to be the main characters because it is so hard to get people's schedules to line up. In fact we might have to play other characters as well.

I'm not crazy about playing Columbo, just because I know it will be a lot of work. I actually look forward to working up a laughable impression of Peter Falk, but it will still be a lot of work.

Yes

2004-08-05T18:29:00.000-04:00

Today is momentous in the history of Project Columbo. I have bid on a VHS copy of the episode "Murder by the Book" which we will be attempting to re-create shot for shot in our very first film project together. I have placed a bid for US $12 .00 and hope to receive the videotape by Wednesday next week at the latest. We can then begin dissection and planning for the project. We are going to plan the hell out of this especially since we have virtually no budget and no outside help and all potential talent are friends that are impossible to schedule for any other purpose.

Yea.

I Have Seen the Light

2004-07-24T23:13:00.000-04:00

Today I went to Home Depot. They had a bunch of those halogen work lights. I grabbed two of the 500-watt ones for about $9 each. Pretty cheap.

I sorta wanted to get some of those ones on a stand. But I couldn't make up my mind and I don't want to blow the budget on cheap lights.

Carl has chosen "Murder by the Book" as our episode to recreate. That is very cool because:

It's the first episode (other than the pilots)
It's directed by Steven Spielberg
It came out exactly 1 year before my wife was born

Scene 1 Take 1

2004-07-23T19:41:00.000-04:00

This project is inspired by those two kids in Mississippi who recreated Raiders of the Lost Ark. I originally saw the article on Slashdot, then later heard about it again on NPR News. Basically, back in the 80's, these kids loved the movie and decided to film their own version. It took them six years but they did it.

I have long had an interest in making video. For a short time in college I was part of a small video production company -- my brother, a friend and I. We had an Amiga 2000 and a Video Toaster. We shot a few projects, but mainly I just played with the equipment constantly. I have many embarassing videos that one day I should transfer to digital and upload...

Fast forward to 2003. I finally got myself a digital camcorder. I also switched to the Mac. I've played with Final Cut a little bit (wow have the tools advanced) and I have the bug again.

So when I heard about those kids who recreated Raiders of the Lost Ark, I started thinking... if I wanted to work on my guitar chops I would get together a cover band... and if I wanted to learn how to make a film, maybe these kids were onto something.

For a couple of weeks I was trying to think of a movie to do. Nothing seemed like a good fit. Then I was having supper with my friend Carl and he was interested in the project. The conversation drifted somehow to Columbo (Carl loves Columbo) and it hit me -- that was perfect! It's a little cliché, the effects aren't overwhelming, and it will be hilarious to see the final project.

It's now up to Carl to choose which Columbo to remake. I have to scramble up some sort of lighting and some microphones. This is low-budget, so there might be some cheap mics duct-taped to broomsticks in my future.

And that's where we are. This is going to be a lot of work, but I'm excited!